What Teachers Wish They Could Say

There are so many changes in our society. Children are bombarded with new ideals and ever broadening ideas of what is okay, and what isn't. As adults we all have watched these trends slowly saturate their little lives, yet we do nothing more than hit "share" on that really moving article about kids not playing outside (just one example). As a teacher I see it firsthand. I was frustrated by it first hand. My hands were generally tied though. Not because I couldn't create a positive change in my class, but because of a reason that stops many teachers in their tracks. I did not have children. I was married, but I was that teacher that "pretended" to know how to teach and parent, because I couldn't possibly be educated enough to really know. I lacked the experience of being a parent. At least that is what I was told and read from disgruntled parents online. Now I have a child though, and guess what? I STILL WOULD TELL THEM THE EXACT SAME THING. I would give them the same activities to work on. The same advice. The same referrals. Here's what we can't tell you though:

Dear Parent,

1. Your child is not the angel you think he is. Your child never throws an absolute fit at home? Never cries or loses it over something simple? Doubt it lady. Saying "Oh, he doesn't do this at home" is called denial, and it's not helping anyone involved in this situation. Guess what? We don't care that he hit us because recess was over, or that he hucked a block at Josh's face because it seemed like a good idea. We are still going to love your child, but please help us help them by being honest about their behavior.

2. There is more to the story. This is something I wish parents understood. Your child doesn't want to sit by so-and-so because they smell. You don't want your child playing with so-and-so because they are always dirty, and sometimes act out. What we can't tell you is why. That child is on their 2nd foster home this year. That child lives in a fifth wheel trailer in a field and sleeps on the floor. Trust me, I would love to tell you, just so you can soak in how big of a jerk you are for judging a child based on circumstances you A. know nothing about, and B. they cannot control.

3. We spend more hands on time with your child during the week than you do. So some teachers don't have children, but do you realize the extent of hours they are with children? You may envision us just hanging out at our desk, but we are WITH your kids. A great teacher is down at the children's level, teaching, playing, and learning with them. We deserve respect in the parenting community, because we essentially are parenting your child 5 days a week. You don't think that's credible because we can go home and "just relax." Multiply your child by 12, then tell me how relaxing your day would be.

4. Our day doesn't end at 2:30 when you pick your child up. We don't go home and "just relax". We go home and slave over lesson plans. Stressing over each child's development, and behavior and needs. Trying desperately to make plans that will grow each child in our class. That will excite them and make them want to learn. We grade papers. We prep crafts, and create projects. Some of us leave class to go to class, so that we are up to date on teaching practices. The school day ends, but the teacher's job just doesn't.

5. We drink so much wine. Wine makers you are welcome. We are one of your highest consumer groups I'm sure. We love our class dearly, but Lord knows come Friday happy hours are filled with teachers taking a deep breath, and whispering a hallelujah. That student in foster care? We take that home with us. That child who we just can't quite figure out...we take that too. That apple is super cute, but we secretly just wish it was appropriate to gift us lots and lots of wine.

6. We are an endless source for advice. I know, I know, how can we possibly give you good advice when our ovens have cooked zero buns? It's called education and experience. Something, shockingly, we have years of. We have so much experience dealing with children from all walks of life, with all types of issues. We know what works well, what doesn't work, and what we would like to try next. For four plus grueling years we studied parenting styles and their outcomes, as well as a range of human development. We are rooted in the community and have so many resources to help you. We are a fountain of knowledge and we would love to share it with you.

7. What child are you talking about?! Funny that you say your 5 year old knows how to read and write. He can count to 100 and always listens. You are very lucky if he does those things for you at home, but guess what? Nobody really cares what you do when no one else sees. We want your child to count confidently and independently. If he can't count past 8 in class, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you are either helping him, or sending his lesser twin to class each day. We aren't looking at what they can or can't do to judge them. We want to honestly assess them so we can teach them.

8. Your child needs to hear the word "NO". It is ok to let your child cry. It is ok to tell them "no". They will thank you later when they are functioning, contributing members of society. Don't coddle them please. Let them experience life in its reality. They will still be loved. Not to mention, it will make our day full of transitions and 27 other children so much easier when we don't have to calm your screaming child (who wanted more free time).

9. We aren't in it for the breaks and the pay. SHHHH! This one is top secret. Teachers are not in it for the breaks, or the pay! Ever drive by a school on "break"? Those 10 cars there aren't janitors or people having fun. It's us using the break to catch up and plan. We are always planning. We don't get over time for our late nights, or non-break "breaks". In fact, I made more with tips as a barista in college.

10. It is all so worth it. We could sit and talk to you about how passionate we are for hours. Despite how chaotic some days can be (there's a wine for that), we truly enjoy your kids. We come back every morning coffee in hand, because it is our passion. We are growing the future. We feel responsible for what they will or won't accomplish in life. We want them to succeed, and thrive. We want them to be loved. We don't forget about you though. More than anything, we know we AREN'T their parents. Some years there will be a student we wish we could take home and give a better life to. Ultimately though, the parenting part, that's on you. We are just here to support you and your child, and help you give them the most love you can. Even if it is tough love. So please, having had kids or not, know that we are here because it is what we were meant to do. Trust us. People don't just take on this job for fun.

P.S. If there is anonymous wine on our car when we get to it, it won't go to waste.

#LIFE #Life #family #Family